EVERYBODY’S TALKING

You know when your pregnant everybody else seems pregnant and when you’ve been fired all of a sudden you run into a bunch of people who have all been “let go” too.  This week everyone seems to be talking about their kids going off to college. Or perhaps I’m talking about it and everybody is just responding.

Whether it’s how you get through the first weeks without crying so much your friends chip in and build you an ark or how what happens when they do come home everyone has an experience or advice to share.

The woman who cleans my teeth said what I have heard from others which is it’s hard at first but you get used to them being gone and then they come back and life gets complicated in ways you never anticipated. And you’re not getting them back as seven year-olds they are man-woman-quasi children, who cause man/woman size turmoil. Great, I’m still getting used to the teen size turmoil.

Alan who runs the pet store and is the father of four said, “wait until Thanksgiving, they run in the door, drop their laundry and disappear to see their friends for the entire weekend with the exception of the meal – do not expect any quality time he said, they will either be asleep or running out the door.”

My friend Maureen who loves her son as much as any mom I know even said “the house returns to being a mess, you know you get really used to order  then within seconds there are water bottles and socks everywhere.” 

And there seems to be the unanimous opinion which is– no matter at what point  these half kid half adult combos come home they are yelling  “FUCK curfew I’m a grown-up now, you can’t tell me what to do and in the same breath what do you mean you didn’t buy Dunkeroos, you know how I love Dunkeroos.”

Despite the ongoing battles about curfew every parent seems to employ the same mantra, “you may do what you want at school, but under my roof….” How many actually follow thru on whatever the threat may be who knows?

Most of my friends count the days until their krownups, (not a typo) return and are devastated when holidays end.

My friend Kelly cried everyday for a month when her oldest left though my dental hygienist didn’t shed a tear. I ran into a friend at the gym yesterday her son is leaving this fall and while he will be living away from home he will be in the same city, she has been crying non-stop for months much life myself.

My radiologist had a different take entirely. Her kids are through with college, one just this year.  She feels they never really leave. They come home all the time and spend summer weekends by the pool, holidays going away with you and many weekends home for dinners and family time. My guess is she keeps the pantry stocked with Dunkeroos.

She asked about places in my neighborhood to have lunch while shopping with with her 21-year-old daughter. YES – we will have lunch and shop we will have our nails done. Life as I know it will return.  I was so happy I forgot to ask her if my fibroids had shrunk. And in the reception area was a mother/daughter team waiting for their appointments. The daughter was my age and they were having their mammograms together!  Double YES – I do have things to look forward to – decades from now we will sit waiting for scans together and then we can have lunch and buy handbags. This is much more in line with my hopes for the future. Our life together isn’t ending there can be root canals and if I live long enough colonoscopy days to share followed by a meal and a lap around Bergdorf’s. As my friend Paul Williams says, “We’ve Only Just Begun”…hopefully

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