THE INDEPEN – DANCE by Taylor Templeton

Independence. A complex word rooted from the Latin verbs “dependere” and “pondo”.  Dependere, by definition means “to hang from”. Similarly, “pondo” means “to weigh, or ponder”. I find this extremely interesting, probably why I chose to endure taking Latin for 4 years despite the amount of times I wanted throw Virgil out the window. However, I still know very little about the world. Yet, the 18 years I have spent growing up between Los Angeles and the Upper East Side of NYC has taught me a lot about human nature and why people behave the way they do; more than any Latin or English class ever could. Primarily, it taught be about independence and family.

I have witnessed and experienced many different family dynamics. I have seen many children who have chosen not to “hang from” their parent’s nest at all and chosen to fly completely solo. They, in turn, have made life choices that I do not see to leading them in a positive direction. But then again, who am I to judge. I have seen kids who have “pondered” their independence from their family and both asserted their independence at times, but knew there was always a loving home to come back to with people that deeply cared about each other. And I have to say, those who know that this exists, really demonstrate it in their behavior.

I have had my share of nights when I have not picked up phone calls until 4 am, in an attempt to demonstrate that I am not only old enough to be on my own, but I can take care of myself. And yes, there have been a myriad of instances where I scream how much my mother has ruined my life because I cannot go to party A, and see person X. That I have done. In fact, that I have done so much I have definitely done damage to my mom’s sleeping patterns and health. But, in my defense, because yes, I am still 18 and always have some defense, knowing there is a loving family to return to at the end of the day, makes all the difference in the world in both how I live my life and the choices I make on a daily basis.

I respect myself enough to try to read a book a week, go the gym, and surround myself by people that are good influences and bring out the best in me. That is something that I fully attribute to my family. They have supported me through the toughest times; times where I have deserved to be sent to boarding school without a phone or any money. But they have stuck around. They have allowed me “to hang” from their nest from the moment I was born through the day I turned 18, after graduation, and even still.

I think sometimes when I don’t feel respected by my family because of the choices I have made on those late nights out, or my failure to study for a test, or inability to follow through on a promise, I seclude myself from them further. I am embarrassed because at the end of the day, I do respect them, and I, as with most children, strive to be respected by their parents. The isolation from the family unit is in a sense a defense mechanism from not upholding to the morals they have taught me. All kids are going to toy with this. There are many extremes. However, the love that children have for their parents is so profound that if they know the parent’s goal is to help them through all of this, they will come out of this funk. They will come home and be honest about the things going on in their life. They will be a member of the family that exists with unconditional love. Because seriously, what more could any kid ask for, even if they will not admit it.

So, all the “pondering” I have done in regards to my independence, and letting go, has certainly caused issues. But I can safely say I am ready to be released from the nest, because there will always be a space for me, with the same loving, incredible people with open wings and a nice hot, delicious dinner on the table…Now I better go into the garden and find that copy of Virgil I threw out the window.

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