BED BATH AND WAY BEYOND

I thought she was moving in to a dorm room,  that size-wise was something in the realm of eight by eight.  Yet going by the last week’s purchases, it feels like she is moving into a McMansion.

 
We know a friend going to MIT and they seem to have it down pat or perhaps they just understand the mindset or need set of their student body: they have a ninety-nine dollar package that includes, sheets, towels and minimal essentials.  Calculus majors at MIT clearly do not spend hours on Garnet Hill comparing periwinkle borders to cornflower borders for their duvet covers.

But the rest of the world as we know it seems to be spending much of the week before lift-off at big box stores buying big, big boxes of things.

We attacked Bed Bath and Beyond first, armed with step-grandma and the printout list from the college.   I must commend BB and B for making it easy as all you have to do is walk around and scan whatever it is you want and then it will be waiting for you at the BB and B of your choice in any city across the country. And I must commend step-grandma for not only paying for it all but backing me up whenever I had to remind Taylor that in this instance size is everything.  There is not going to be much space to begin with – plus you will be sharing it.

This is a girl who has had her own room for eighteen years.  What if Christina (roommate)  has a ton of stuff too????

Once Taylor got that scanner in her hand she was like something out of Star Wars– it was pointing and blinking in all directions, at plastic bins and  bed-raisers (so you can cram the plastic bins under the bed) lamps and fans and caddies of every size and color  At this point  she has more caddies than National Golf Club.

The shower caddy caused a mini-meltdown, as we stood near the bath scales and towels.  “They are all so ugly,” she whimpered.  “It’s a shower caddy Taylor, not your wedding dress.”  “But I wouldn’t be caught dead carrying something like that.”  “Well,” I said, eying the assortment, “I don’t think you have much of a choice as the only people who actually use communal showers are prisoners, mental patients, members of the military and college students.  Taking that into consideration I don’t think Dolce and Gabbana are going to come out with a line of shower caddies next fall.”

She reluctantly chose a simple white canvas one with a floral border that I found to be quite cute. I have a feeling she will end up lugging her shampoo and soap in a plastic bag.

Blessedly the place was roaming with other disoriented looking parents who are mentally doing the math to total the sum of yet one more pre-college take-off expenditure. And all of them thinking, “None of this existed when I was going to school.”

Yet, who else but boomers would come up with so much stuff to buy for what essentially should be such a simple event?  We are buying all this for the generation that grew up on Baby Einstein tapes, four sizes of car seats and McLaren strollers with lines of toys hanging from them in the event that god forbid they weren’t stimulated for a nano second.

My husband looks aghast and reminds us that he went to Bennington with a few suitcases, some books and a typewriter.

I didn’t go to college so I have no means of comparison.  I just follow along as we trudge from Bed Bath and Beyond to the Apple Store for speakers, software, more GB’s for her computer, a new back up drive, back to BB and B for batteries, hangers (my friend L warned me), American Apparel for more T-shirts and goodies, it’s bloody endless.

Blessedly the bed sheets are easy and as they have to fit one size bed, though the duvet cover required two hours online and most everything she liked was either sold out or didn’t come in twin.  Interesting fact – Calvin Klein doesn’t believe in Fulls or Twins,  only Kings and Queens!

I’m actually starting to have nightmares about it all. I woke up at four am in a panic– we only have two plastic under-the-bed drawers, that won’t begin to hold her T-shirts. And flashlights, I forgot flashlights. MORE BATTERIS!!!

And then I keep thinking, someone is going to have to pack all this stuff up in eight months and get it back to New York. Wonder who that will be?????

 My friend L told me to keep the boxes under the bed for when they come home as you will need them and they aren’t about to go out and get a slew of boxes to help pack up.

I wonder if Bed Bath and Beyond makes cardboard box holders that fit under the bed?

Back to the mall.

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