FOURTH GRADE MOM

Lucy's First Day of Fourth Grade

While I have been talking a lot on this blog about being a Freshman Mom– after all, the blog is called FRESHMAN MOM– the thing I have left out is I am also blessed and I truly mean blessed to be a fourth grade mom as well.

One of the great things I did in my early forties aside from leaving my first marriage behind was to have a child with my second husband.  Growing up as an only child my main goal was to have a big family. Two kids and two parents to me feel like a big family. And despite Taylor being in college we are still four in the absolute but in the daily we are three and I have a little one still in the house.

Disney and ABC Family are the channels of choice. She still loves to make me cards and climb in my lap and wants me to kiss her booboos. She is still thank heavens a little kid.

All children are a blessing but having two daughters at two totally different stages has been perfect.  And while I know many prefer to keep them close in age for the kids’ sakes I didn’t have that option and even when I did I didn’t want two babies at the same time.

I always knew I wanted two ten years apart. I’m not sure where this came from, though I think it has something to do with watching my father have a child in his forties– which at the time was unheard of. But it kept him and my stepmother young and after all the others had gone off, there was one still at home. I witnessed what a difference that made in their lives compared to the empty nesters around them.

So I remember telling people I want one at thirty and one at forty and that’s exactly what I did, give or take a year or two.

So, yes I have my freshman who does still need me though in such a different way. But I also have Lucy who needs me in that everyday mommy way.

And despite the fact she is the second child, because of the age difference she is not getting lost in the shuffle. She is not wearing hand me downs, though she loves getting her older sister’s clothes.  She gets all our attention at the dinner table now, as there is no one to share time with. Her movie and restaurant picks will win out most of the time. And she will know what it’s like to live two ways, as an only child and as part of a team.

For a period when Tay’s teenagehood was spiraling and took a lot of the household energy to contain she did get less attention. But now she gets all of me – most of the time.

And because I understand how fleeting this whole thing is I am so happy to be there.

I was thrilled this week to get her all outfitted for the first day of fourth grade. Getting off the floor at Bloomingdales and heading for the 7 to 14 section made me happier than you can imagine.

I loved organizing her back pack and picking her back to school outfit was a treat. I don’t think I ever enjoyed her first day back to school more than I did yesterday.

We came home and fixed up her summer reading book report and put it in her shiny new folder and laid out the outfit for the first day of fourth grade and yikes, another milestone: her last year in lower school as she graduates next year to middle school.

Which in reality I think only means sitting on the more grown-up side of the cafeteria.  But it’s a big deal to her and  it’s progress and one step closer to independence.

I realized how fast she was growing up this summer when I picked her up after the first day at camp and she had an uncharacteristically cranky look on her face. I asked her what was wrong. She glared at me and said “You gave me cheddar bunnies in my lunch.”

“I gave you cheddar bunnies all last summer.” I said.  “Yeah, but I was a pony last summer, I’m an eagle now.”   “So Eagles don’t eat cheddar bunnies?”  “ Of course not,” she responded in that how-can-a-person-be-so-dense way kids have.

She was an Eagle now.  And next summer she goes to sleep away camp and before I know it I will be packing up her things and unpacking them in another city and I will have to walk away like I did last week.

But that is nine years from now, I counted last night.  Nine years to let go, and I plan on enjoying every second of it.

Be Sociable, Share!

•