LESSONS TO BE LEARNED BY MOMS TOO! I’M SORRY……

I could completely delete this morning’s posting. It would take two seconds and I thought about doing it. Though it took me an hour to write and by not doing so there are several lessons to be learned, a few for me and perhaps other parents.  And despite what the professor thinks– little did he know he would become a major player in this blog– I can admit when I am wrong. And since it looks like we are wrong here in one respect I want to publicly apologize to Taylor as I publicly lambasted her for something it looks like she did not do.

The two rude emails telling Glenn where he could get off and accusing him of spam and not knowing him were sent by another Taylor Templeton. We are trying to track her down.

When our Taylor was faced with the emails this AM after she woke me up with a cheery good-morning, she was horrified. 

At first I did not believe her. This comes from several years of teenagehood where many times stretching the truth was an aerobic exercise in our house. Those of you who  raising teens and my guess are if you are following this you are, you have no doubt been faced with this:

“That wine bottle in my closet was left there by my friends. I swear to God it’s not mine”  ”But it came from our collection”  “Weird”

“Those aren’t my rubbers, they belong to my friend, she asked me to keep them, I forgot to give them back.”

“Those papers are so not mine, this guy asked me to hold them at a party.”

“I didn’t take your sweater, coat, bag and shoes! Salva must have put them in here.”  “And sprayed them with your perfume?”

You go through enough years of that and the truth takes on a different color– at least your perception of it.

And I must add: I have been alive fifty-one years, and no one has EVER asked me to hide or hold empty bottles of wine, cigarettes, rubbers or rolling papers. The most I have been asked to do is perhaps watch someone’s carry-on while they went to the ladies room. Something one doesn’t tend to do post 9/11.  I’ve been asked to hold a jacket if shopping with a friend while she tries on another, but I immediately return it, you will not find it in my closet a week later.  And with the price of cigarettes now I can’t imagine anyone asking you to hold them. So, I don’t always believe Taylor though I have given her the benefit of the doubt on more than one occasion.

But in this instance it looks like I accused wrongly and blogged too quickly.

So the lesson for me and perhaps other parents is if we expect our kids to admit to their mistakes we have to admit to ours too.  So I will do it publicly – I made a mistake.

I am sorry I accused you falsely. I’m sorry I blogged without all the facts.

 You did not tell Glenn you didn’t know who he was and to get lost.  Some other Taylor Templeton who truly doesn’t know who he is did it and she has every right to do so.  I also apologized for Glenn to the other Taylor Templeton.

The email confusion is a very common one. One period or underscore and you can  send a seductive note, a tongue-lashing or a copy of your will to the wrong person.

I actually have a friend in Atlanta named Tracey Jackson, she and her partner were here for drinks last week. We met because she kept getting my emails. See I have a D in mine; she got to Gmail first and was able to grab the name. Remember the days of AOL and TraceyJackson43678490?

The immediacy of cyberville can be great and cause trouble too. Last night wires were crossed, feelings were hurt and it was all a big mistake.

SO I AM SORRY, TAYLOR. WE LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN COME HOME THIS WEEKEND IF YOU SO DESIRE AND YOUR TUITION WILL BE PAID.

I say that because as so much of this goes back to my own childhood as well, if my mother had once apologized for anything I would have been deeply grateful. I would have forgiven much. But she never did and much of it lives between my shoulder blades to this day.

I don’t fault my mother her mistakes – I fault her for never owning one of them.

My father on the other hand in his later years has been able to come clean on all sorts of fronts and apologize for deeds he knew must have hurt me.  This has paved the way for a relationship to exist where one never did before and allowed me to let go of things I held onto and move forward..

All parents make mistakes – we are only human- but if you can own them  and accept them then all parties can hopefully move on.

Now comes the lesson for kids – when you haven’t always told the truth to your parents or anyone they will eventually jump first to the place where they don’t believe you or anything you say no matter how convincing your argument.

And that goes for everyone. It’s one of the reasons one of the most repeated phrases in parenting is “Just don’t lie to me.” 

Since you freshmen are on your road to life it holds true no matter where you go.

Lessons for the day: don’t lie, say I’m sorry. And try not to send emails to the wrong people.

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