THE STEPS STEP UP TO THE PLATE

When you consider that one out of two marriages end in divorce and then think about how many kids are heading off to college this fall– well, do the math– many have step every things.

I am the child of divorce as is Taylor so we both have stepfamilies scattered about.

The truth is stepparents get a really bad rap and sometimes it’s deserved but many times not.  I think Walt Disney started it and the myth kept on going. And it is a very hard job as I have observed from the sidelines. 

But today’s blog is a big “lets give it up for the steps” at least in our family this month and in regards to helping us out with some of Taylor’s college expenses.

In a bizarre twist of fate the people who have stepped up to help out are the ones who had no obligation whatsoever other than their generosity and love for Taylor.

And the people who should have helped out – well, let’s not go there.

First I want to “give it up” for Alice Friedland.  Alice is Taylor’s step-grandmother (my ex –husband’s wife’s mother) and not only did she help Taylor pick out the furnishings for her dorm room but she paid for the whole thing.  She has been kind and generous over the years, never forgetting a holiday and always taking Taylor to a lovely lunch and shopping trip but this was way beyond the call of duty and is so greatly appreciated by our entire family. 

Then we have Glenn’s parents, Lynne and Aaron Horowitz. They are Taylor’s step grandparents but have never since the day we all became family have they treated Taylor as anything but their own. There are as many photos of her all over their home as there are of Lucy, the child Glenn and I had together. They consider Taylor their grandchild and have treated her as such for twelve years.  In terms of college a sizable bond has been given to each child on every birthday and then in the last four years or so we all decided that instead of the bond they would make a direct contribution to Taylor’s college fund.  So they have actually contributed to her tuition.  So, let’s give it up for Lynne and Aaron Horowitz.  And as if that were not enough Lynne, as she always does around holidays or special times, called me a few weeks ago and said she and Aaron want to help out with the dorm room what can they do?  Lynne being the mother of three children herself knows at a certain age asking is the best policy since kids’ needs and tastes are so very specific. We decided that we would wait until we got the room settled and there would undoubtedly be things that needed filling in. As of yesterday it looks like a printer/scanner combo or a small TV. But they have always been there and once again, the steps have stepped up to the plate.

And last but not least is my stepmother Carol Jackson who is paying for all of Taylor’s books for her entire college career. This is no small contribution, as those of you with college kids know.  And the thing about Carol is she is not only doing this for Tay, she does it for all the kids in the family who go to college, and the family is not small.
Between her and my father there are seven grown children, only one who has never married or had children of her own.  So there are many book bills to cover.   And she also does this for her nieces and nephews, which is even more impressive as Carol comes from a very large family herself and most everyone has a few kids in school somewhere. So let’s give it up for Carol Jackson! Thank you Carol.

The only birth grandparent who is no longer alive  is Taylor’s paternal grandfather, who died before she was born.  I have a feeling if he were still here he would have been there as she was moving in with not only a van full of things but a screwdriver to help us assemble all the furniture. He was that kind of guy and a divorce and thousands of miles would not have not have kept him from helping his only grandchild enter this big new phase of her life.

Glenn and I are blessed: we can provide for our children and pay for their needs but when people come forth, especially those who really don’t have to, it is not only helpful, but so heart warming and we send all the steps a giant hug and a thank you -we are fortunate to have you in our lives.

Be Sociable, Share!

•