EYE-JOB UPDATE

The following is not for the fainthearted though it is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Many of you have asked for updates since I announced the fact I was doing my eyes, littered amongst the “You don’t need it,”  “Oh my god the pain,” and all the rest of it have been so many questions and proclamations: “I hate my eyes, my jowls, my nasal-bifolds” — the mere word bi-fold on the face sends shivers up my spine.

Men as well as women don’t like a variety of things that start getting a daily tug from malevolent side of Mother Nature as we age. But many like me are fearful, and have many questions.  Does it hurt?  What happens?  Is it scary?

The good news is this – IT DOES NOT HURT. So there – all of you who said it would.

In fact, I have taken a grand total of six extra strength Tylenol. Two a dose, which is one less than I take after a two margarita night at Phillipe. I have 20 Vicoden sitting next to me I have not touched – and no you cannot have them.

I did take the Queen of Facelift’s Joan Kron’s advice and hired a nurse for 24 hours which has now been extended to 36 hours. Smartest thing I did, as they change the ice every twenty minutes, something no one in my family is capable of doing. Plus put in drops and gooky stuff I have chosen to ignore.

Glenn in fact had such nurse envy he made them put drops in his eyes.

We love a nurse around here; we always hired the baby nurse for two weeks and ended up keeping them for two months.

I can’t write a lot, not because I don’t feel like it but Angela, my nurse thinks I’m too frisky and need to settle down.

The oh-so-fabulous Salva just came in and yelled at me to get off the computer and lie down. Salva loves to boss me around – it’s why we get on so well. She is the only person I don’t boss around.

So today I will give you the visuals and tomorrow the verbal run-down and the day after– you’re on my  “to do” list.

I probably have more typos today than usual, but I have an excuse my eyes are blurry.

Happy it’s over.

Happier I did it.

Freshman Mom

This is what I looked like two hours after surgery.

This is how I spent the next 18 hours

Thanks to Runa and Angela

Not so bad - one eye is always worse than the other.

This is merely what I would look like if I'd dated Charlie Sheen

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