Tracey Jackson

Feb 18 2013 | 6 Comments

WHEN DID FAT BECOME A FOUR LETTER WORD?

 

I don’t know when it started but all of a sudden calling someone on being fat has become a sin in in this country.

In the last week we have had both Chrisitiefatgate and now the battle between super-size actress Melissa McCarthy and snarky, seen better days film critic Rex Reed.

In both instances Reed, who accused McCarthy of being a “hippo” and Dr. Connie Mariano who had the courage to come out and say Christie’s weight is (pardon the pun) a giant stumbling block in his bid for GOP Presidential Candidate in 2016 were raked across the coals in the media for referring to Christie and McCarthy’s size in negative terms.

Granted, Reed could have found a perhaps nicer way of describing her hefty, unhealthy size, but he is known for being a bitchy queen. There, that was not PC, but you can call some one a bitchy queen and not get smacked around for it in the same way you would if you called them a tubo, bitchy queen.

I happen to a have a profound fondness for bitchy queens, and a huge aversion to obesity.

And call me what you want I don’t have an aversion to people calling public figures out on being fatsos.  I don’t have a problem with the word fatso.

What I have a problem with is defending or protecting the condition of obesity, which at this moment is the number one health hazard in this country.

It is proven to lead to the three biggest killers, heart disease, many cancers and diabetes. Yet we are supposed to protect people from themselves and allow public figures go set poor, even destructive examples. They are deified and the ones who dare out them are vilified.

Christie, who is morbidly obese defended his position by calling Dr. Mariano a “ hack” when she is in fact a career Navy doctor who headed the White House Medical Unit under Bill Clinton. She is also a Republican so it was not a political barb. It was not even a barb. What she was saying was if he is the next President  and if he stays at his present weight he could very well drop dead in the White House.  This worries her.  No matter how you feel about the oddly charismatic, always overweight, sometimes blowhard his weight is an issue and sets a poor example for country with a forty percent obesity rate.

And then to further prove his point he went on Letterman and crammed his face with a jelly donut. Sorry. This is just irresponsible.  Even if I were inclined to vote for him that would send me running.

But what happens is the media ends up attacking the messenger, in this case Dr. Mariano who has a valid beef.

The thing is we can call people on other forms of self-destructive behavior, drug addicts, alcoholics, sex-addicts, Obama’s smoking cigarettes all these things can be pointed out without attacking the messenger.

These people are allowed to be publically criticized, and usually ordered into some form of behavior changing program to help erase their tarnished record or self-destructive habits.

Look at Obama; he is left with his Nicorette habit in an attempt to set a good example.  No one says, the guy is under more pressure than most anyone on the planet, cut him some slack, let him smoke a few. But no, Obama smokes, bad Obama, he must quit.  Though no one says Christie put down the fries.

Obesity kills more people than smoking.

Yet, fat people are protected by some weird fat protection policy we have in this country.  It makes no sense.

The backlash against Reed was deafening; if you were listening.

How dare he accuse her of being fat?  Yes, he called her names, but he calls everyone names, it’s his style.  And she is a hippo and her not owning it responsibly and the press defending her makes it alright for her legion of fans, who frankly need to hear she is not a healthy role model.  She is doing herself in.

But people chime in with “If we call people fat it will affect their self-esteem.”  It should be affected. Fat people are too coddled and the taxpayers end of picking up the tab.

Blogger and BQ Perez Hilton had this to say.

“Melissa is a Hilariously gifted comedian — we applaud her for being so comfortable in her own skin!!”

NO. NO. NO,  Perez, who BTW used to be rather fat himself and is now stick thin.  We don’t want a country of people being comfortable in their stretched out skin. We want a country of people who eat healthily, are aware of the life and death implications of obesity and we want the role models to back this up.

If you are a public figure you sign on for haters and acolytes, it’s part of the program. If you are a fat public figure you set yourself up for all of it too. And if you can’t take the heat then get out of the kitchen, and if you want to stay in the kitchen, eat some fruit and veggies and put down the jelly donuts.

And while it may hurt their feelings, sometimes having your feelings hurt and being forced to look at your behavior is not the worst thing.
We have lost sight of the fact that self-esteem comes from doing the right thing, living a good life and making healthy, constructive choices. It’s not a birthright.

And being obese and being called on it, well, if  that saves a life, let the fat slurs roll. I would rather have someone spend a few days with hurt feelings that hopefully ends up with them examining and amending their behavior then watching them slowly or suddenly die from any one of the deadly diseases associated with being fat.

If you want to read some startling stats click on here.

 

 

Fat Gov Christie.

Fat Gov Christie.

 

 

Melissa McCarthy

Melissa McCarthy

  • Michele Morro Rowe

    Tracey, Everything you write here has an enormous amount of truth to it. But as with much of the world and what goes on it, everything is nuanced. Nothing is black and white, there are shades of grey in everything , whether we choose to see the grey or not, it is there. Of course, the reality of the word “fat” is not offensive, it is simply a statement of fact. As a fat person, I know and accept this. I think the answer to the question “when did fat become a four letter word” would be when it is used as a weapon. When words like “fat”, “enormous”, “whale-like”, “orca”, etc. are used to take away a person’s humanity to humiliate, bully or define someone simply by their size. It is a weapon of cruelty and destruction. I have seen first-hand what it can do.

    Unfortunately, food as a “drug of choice” may very well be the hardest addiction of all to master. Unlike drugs or alcohol, we must eat to live. In some cases, it’s about learning how not to “live to eat”. For some of us fat folk, it’s all about the DNA; eating healthily and regular exercise just makes for a very healthy slightly less fat person. I’m not making excuses for me or anyone else. I am aware of and struggle with my weight every single day of my life…I am proud of the successes I have and devasted when I fail. I have been morbidly obese, obese, chubby and rail-thin. I have risked my life more then once chasing the perfect body image. At 55, I have finally realized it will never happen. Oddly enough, (based on what many may think), I am my healthiest when I am simply chubby. So now, my goal is “healthy” regardless of what size that may be at. Sure, the first thing you see when you look at a person like me is my size but don’t make the assumption that all fat people are slovenly, lazy ,ugly, stupid or don’t care about themselves. It is simply not true.

    You are right, self-esteem is not a birth right. I think it is something that you earn based on the person you are. A grateful and giving heart, a brilliant mind, empathy, kindness, and what it is we put forth as an offering to this world are all things that are part of a person’s self-worth. A positive self-image should be based on all of the parts of the “self”. Not only what we “appear” to be but rather what we are. Constructive criticism, which all people can benefit from both fat and thin, is a far cry from a slur. Fat slurs won’t ever save a life, but rest assured if delivered to the young and vulnerable they can and do surely cost some.

    As far as Governor Christie, I think that if what he says is true (and it could very well be) that his blood pressure, sugar, cholesterol, tri-glycerides and everything else is good and he eats fairly healthy and exercises ,he has the same right as anyone else to run for higher office. Although I’m not a republican, I think he is a pretty bright guy,he certainly “calls it as he sees it” even in respect to himself. I saw the donut thing more as “self-depracating and an acknowledgement of the obvious rather than as a promotion of bad eating. I’m not sure I would vote for him. Regardless of that, the truth of the matter is even a thin person could suffer from high blood pressure, heart disease, and a myriad of other deadly diseases and could drop dead in office as well. It’s a risk, could his be higher, of course, but then again, there are never any “sure things” in life.

    Tracey, I love you much and am grateful for you in my life, you know that. I hope I am not offending you but I really needed to comment. I know that you have maintained your healthy and very thin self through diligence and hard work. Please know that sometimes not all is what it appears to be.

    And so it is…….with much love and affection.

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    I knew I would hear from you first! Now we will have this private conversation in public. I know what you are saying. And you are right. Things are gray and people do try and fail and I too have battled weight much of my life. All of it until the last ten years.
    I spent so much energy worrying about who was thinner than I was and how it affected every part of my life. I can still recite every day of The Scarsdale Diet! I think people can be cruel and that is not right. I think often it is what is said and how it is said.
    What I was trying to say is in this PC world we are allowed to out people on other things but fat is something that has become a four letter word. And perhaps bullying is part of it.
    I also think that what we have learned in terms of diet and exercise and the ravages of fat on the system have changed over the years. I don’t have to tell you what diabetes does.
    I also agree that we are not all meant to be a size six. We all have different body types and 150 on someone is a healthy weight and that person would be unhealthy at say 130.
    But then there is being over weight to the point it affects your joints, your arteries, your heart and leads to certain cancers and the rest of it. And then, and I love you to death, but the excuse is I try and fail and this is it, does not work.
    I think sometimes people have to be scared or even overtly called on it to get their attention. I do think that. I would rather hurt someone’s feelings for a few minutes to save their life.
    I also think one argument you make and many do, which is the we need food to live, but not say cocaine, has not merit.
    We need food to live and no one suggests starvation but you know as well as I do the choices we make, and you know as well as I do as every one who has battled weight does what we should eat and what not. We know the importance of exercise. There will people who will never be stick thin, but they get to the place where they are as healthy as they can be.
    Chris Christie I promise you even if some of his numbers are good, and my money says they are not, his joints, his heart, just lugging that around, so many parts of his body are compromised.
    My grandmother was fat. I mean fat. The entire time I knew her. She died in her sleep at 86. And then there are people who drop dead, rail thin while running a marathon.
    But, the bulk of research and knowledge we now have points to an entirely different outcome.
    I love you. I want you to be happy and healthy.
    I love you to challenge me. I love that I knew you would.

  • http://www.gothamgal.com Gotham Gal

    great post.

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    Thank you!

  • Sheldon Bull

    Weight is a personal characteristic that a person can’t hide. That’s part of why it becomes an issue. People with chemical addictions like smokers, heavy drinkers, drug users, or those with sexual addictions or other emotional issues can often keep private the manner in which they medicate or soothe themselves. They can walk down the street and nobody knows. A person carrying weight has no place to hide. So in that sense, those who are overweight get picked on more than others who may be dealing with – or ignoring – much more serious problems. I have a friend who can’t stop smoking. I wish she would, but she’s addicted to nicotine. I could shame her about it or give her my unsolicited advice, but I don’t because I figure she knows that what she’s doing is dangerous, but she can’t live without those cigarettes. We want everyone in our society to be as healthy as possible. It makes economic sense and it’s compassionate. But often we haven’t found the right way to have the conversation. I understand when people who are overweight feel singled out or humiliated while others can hide their personal struggles. When some attractive celebrity gets a DUI, does that start a firestorm of media outrage about drinking? No. I find nothing admirable about Chris Christie. He’s an ignorant bully. His weight guarantees that he has no future in politics outside of New Jersey. The citizens of New Jersey may be comfortable with a governor who looks and behaves as if he works for Tony Soprano, but the rest of the country doesn’t want a president who looks as if he is one donut away from a heart attack. Outside of New York and Los Angeles it’s normal to be overweight. That’s not healthy, but we’re still searching for a productive and positive way to encourage our citizens to eat healthier food. My wife and I watched the movie, “Fork Over Knife” last summer at the recommendation of our physician, Dr. Soram Khalsa. We modified our diet. We’ve transitioned one day at a time. Annette gets most of the credit for spending hours researching new recipes. I haven’t used our barbecue in months. I got my cholesterol down from 275 to 180. I’ve lost thirteen pounds. I feel better than I have felt in years. We also found ways to exercise that are fun. Annette goes to ballet class four times a week. She loves it. I go to the gym, to yoga four times a week, and I just started a men’s ballet class which is the most fun I’ve ever had. Annette and I worked together on this. We’ve supported each other. We’re having fun. And our health has never been better. Yes, we miss In-N-Out and a lot of other foods that we used to enjoy. But we see and feel the rewards of our efforts. Rather than attacking Melissa McCarthy, Annette and I are privately making changes for ourselves. I’ve been thin my whole life, I confess that. I just don’t have a big appetite. But for the first time in my life I really look fit and even muscular. My wife compliments me on my body. At 60, that’s a big thrill for me. My self esteem is way up. What we all need is less public shouting and more private encouragement from our physicians and from our loved ones. That has worked for us. People will always make fat jokes, short jokes, and every other kind of joke. Privately, we all do the best we can.

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    Wow. You always give me so much to reply to. And you always write it so well. And I agree with you about a lot of what you say. I love your Tony Soprano – Chris Christie comparison. Happy you and Annette are on this path, though you have both always been thin. I watched you eat white fish every day for lunch for four years! Not sure what changes you needed to make.
    That being said, I also agree with the observation that we see fat and it becomes often times an aesthetic issue more than a health one, though it should not be. We are all screwed up in this country about this topic. We have eating disorders on one side and one of the world’s highest obesity rates on the other.
    The place I disagree, is “privately we all do the best we can.”
    There are so many defense mechanisms in place for people who do things they know are not in their best interest. They make excuses for not working out, or making healthy food choices or they just don’t want to change. That in my book is not doing the best you can. It just isn’t. I know doctors who tell people they will die if they keep on the road they are on, people with kids and they refuse to change their habits. That is not doing the best they can.
    Talk to people who really had a problem and made the change. You made a change, that in my knowing you is teeny. A thin guy to a thinner guy and you feel better. Now take a guy who weighs 260, with diabetes and heart disease, with high blood pressure and joints that are giving out. A guy without a wife to appreciate the new him no matter what that is, she might not even be around to pick on the old him. Then get him on a healthy program and shed two hundred pounds off him, have him take some control over his destiny and see how he feels. And then ask him if he was in fact doing the best he could. I think we like to think we are always doing the best we can. I think we are often doing the best we are willing to do and that includes me. As always love your comments.