Tracey Jackson

May 18 2014 | 12 Comments

CHANGING TREES

Screen Shot 2014-05-18 at 6.37.28 PM

 

I started this blog over five years ago with Freshman Mom. For those of you who were not around, for six months FM charted my adjustment to my oldest daughter Taylor’s going off to college and the beginning of her exit from the nest.

I also made a film Lucky Ducks; that supposedly dealt with why kids were spoiled and ended up being about how I had to let go of Taylor. So the theme of letting go of my children, well, it’s been Taylor, as Lucy is still very much around; has been the controlling dynamic of much of my work.

I got through her life at college. I even got bored writing about her. And she got really bored with me writing about her.

College like much of life seemed to fly by and she graduated last year. None of us were prepared to have her move back into her old room, but neither were we prepared to totally toss her out of the nest. So for the last year she lived in her own small apartment three floors below us.

I liked to say, she was out of the nest but still in the tree.

I would be lying if I said I thought our “tree co-habitation” would not go on indefinitely.

Though there were days and nights it did seem like she needed her own place – in her own tree, in a separate orchard; where she could really take root and grow in her own way.

Then there were nights when she would come up and watch TV, or grab a snack in her sweats, or stop by for dinner when I could not have been happier with the status quo.

Taylor turns 23 today. She and two friends just rented a three-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn.  She is going off to live her own version of GIRLS.

It feels odd and it feels right. It feels permanent which it is, and that makes me a bit sad. But it also makes me happy for her. And I know that it is the natural next stop on the evolution express.

I think in the absolute we will be closer when she is not living under the shade of our tree. Last night after dinner she was leaving and I said, “Well I guess it’s time for you to go to your room.”  No doubt, the last year for me has been her living with us, only her  room was three floors below. I can see her “room” from Lucy’s window.

She will move this summer when I’m not around. It will be the first move I have not helped her with and she doesn’t want my help. It will be the most drastic in its way. Her address for the first time in 23 years will not be the same as mine.

She is off on the journey of her life.

There is something poignant and exciting about it being on her 23rd birthday.

Like many big life changes the feelings are always mixed. Change is hard. Change is good. Change is essential for growth.

This morning I was looking at the montage I did of her for her 21st birthday. It always makes me cry. Glenn asked why I was crying. I said, “All these years gone, we never get them back and they are the biggest.”  In true Glenn fashion he said,  “They are the biggest in many ways, but there are very big ones yet to come. That’s life.”

Happy Birthday Taylor!!!

I will miss having you here in the tree. But like I said to you a few nights ago when you told me you would in fact sleep here every now and then – Mi tree et su tree. And wherever I live for the rest of my life, there will always be a place for you to sleep whenever you want to.

And truth be told, I’m looking forward to getting to know Brooklyn better.

 

 

  • Larry

    Beautiful. You are both Lucky Ducks.

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    Thank you Larry. Indeed…..:)

  • Rich Goldstein

    Have you been watching Girls? That show is fabulous.

  • michele

    Happy Birthday to Taylor! Incredible how the years fly by. This is a beautiful piece Tracey. Change and the eventual “uprooting” of our children from our nests and trees is inevitable for us all, and ultimately a good thing, even though it is torture for us moms! Your love for your girls is so evident. I guess we should all find comfort as they fly away in the knowledge that even with change the love and the ties that bind remain the same. Be secure in the success of their futures as you have given them the roots to grow a mighty oak of their own. Brooklyn (the new Manhattan!) awaits you!!

  • CindyBouchard

    Happy Birthday, Taylor! 23 is a prime number and this is prime time for you all! Mirriam Webster; prime noun ˈprīm: the period in life when a person is best in health, strength, etc. : the most active or successful time of a person’s life. Oxford: A state or time of greatest strength, vigor, or success in a person’s life. OR • archaic The beginning or first period of something: the prime of the world. Blessings, love and much happiness to you all, now and forever!

  • Karen Nedler Quinn

    Happy birthday to Taylor! I can’t believe she’s 23. I wish her all the best in her new life in Brooklyn. How lucky for her that she gets to move out of the next and still be close to you, but not too close! It’s perfect.

  • Paul Williams

    Happy Birthday Taylor and Happy & Healthy Transition Tee! Proud of you both and so blessed to have you in my life. I’ll be a better Dad for the time I’ve spent around you two.

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    I started watching it then got bored. But that is just me.

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    Fly does not begin to describe it.
    And yes, it is hard. But we get thorough it all.
    xoxoxo T

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    She isn’t that far. Tis true. And she works everyday in the city.
    Life goes on.

  • http://www.traceyjacksononline.com/ Tracey Jackson

    Aw shucks.

  • Awleib

    Happy Birthday Taylor! And another glorious life passage for Taylor, and all of you. It’s grabbing that golden ring!